A Story of Two Boots (Excerpt from 7/8/15)

This is an excerpt from a journal entry I wrote on my volunteer visit a couple a weeks ago. I cannot possibly catch you up on everything that has happened before this post but I will try to be better about updating you more often. I chose to start with this entry because even though it is old, it is a good representation of some of my thoughts and feelings at this point in my Peace Corps experience.

            [ Yesterday, I found my way to Pananomé via several modes of transportation, where I met up with the volunteer with whom I would spend the rest of my week. From there, we put on our rubber boots and made our way to the village she has called home for the past year. The hike was dry and manageable until we got to one sludgy part of the path. I mimicked the volunteer’s movements across the slippery rocks and wooden slabs located in the muck, because she has now mastered the technique of crossing the precarious muddy patch without getting dirty. Unfortunately, when I tried to copy her tactic, only one of my boots came out clean while the other was covered in mire. As I lay in the hammock later that day, I looked at my boots and gained some clarity about my feelings concerning my current status as a trainee. I am still bien frescita, a newbie-straight off the plane. My outlook on the next two years of my life could be defined as naïve, unaware, ignorant, and eager. But that’s only half of it. Starting this week, I am half in the mud, partially dwelling in reality, sinking deeper into the Peace Carps way. I am beginning to get the feel of what it looks like to live the life of a Peace Corps volunteer in Panama. Both boots are my reality-neither more true than the other-both worn simultaneously. At times, I wish I could hurry up and get the other boot muddy and begin my two years as a volunteer living at my own site. Other times however, I want to clean the other boot and go back to the first couple of weeks when I could just enjoy training and not have to think about how everything applies to my own service yet. In about seven more weeks (now 5), both boots will be covered in mud, never to be brand new again. I will be completely submerged and given the opportunity to decide how to live, how to perceive, and how to interact. But for now, I am wearing these mismatched boots and I am thankful. ]

Quick update:

I just got back from my Tech Week in Bocas del Toro, Panama and I find out my site for the next two years on Friday! I will share more about both of these things at a later date, but I just wanted to give you a little info for now.